Monday, September 14, 2009

Not really plodding

Definitely moving faster than plodding this days. I'm running. Yes, yes you read that right. RUNNING! Now I'm still not running very fast, but I'm running.

I went to D*C in Atlanta over Labor Day weekend and acutally got up and went down to the gym and ran for 20 minutes. My first 20 minute run. I was really proud of myself. The end of my vacation and vacation recovery threw me off my stride a bit and I only fit in one run last week, but things are back to normal again. I even went for a run tonight after coming home and collapsing on the couch. I left my boyfriend, kitties and air conditioning to go and run. Not bad.

I've flunked out of Better U - or I've left it for a less structured curriculium. I'm back on SparkPeople and doing well there. And of course it will only be a few more weeks before I graduate from Couch to 5K - and run my first 5K!!

Eating is still where I'm struggling the most. But still, it could be worse. It has been worse. But I've managed not to splurge too much these days, or at least as much as I have in the past. Thank heavens.

I've discovered that the biggest, absolutely BIGGEST impediment to being healthy is that I'm lazy. I don't want to work out. I don't want to cook a healthy dinner. I want to lay around and read and eat pizza and chocolate. I just don't want to put in the effort. And the problem is that EFFORT is the number one ingredient to losing weight and getting healthy.

So in an effort to make more of an effort, I'm stating that I will post here three times a week for the next two weeks. We'll see how that goes.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Three Years

It was three years ago that I began losing weight. I stepped on the scale for the first time since I was hospitalized and found out that I had gained about 15 pounds in just a couple months since the blood clot of doom.

It was time to get in gear - and I did. Over the next ten months I lost nearly 40 pounds. And I kept it off for awhile. Then I gained a few more back, but still I was okay, until last August. I really, really started to gain.

This year I've been trying to work on it again, but it is even harder this time. And it's hard to realize that instead of being less than I was this time last year, I am more. A good bit more.

But today I ran. I did push-ups and strength training.

I don't know how much I way because I haven't stepped on my scale since the beginning of the month. I feel better about what I'm doing even if I don't feel better about my body just now.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I hurt...It is SO awesome!

I have not really been sore from a workout in I can't remember when. My legs are certainly feeling it now though. Whether from my run on Tuesday or the strength training last night, I don't know, but I'm happy.

I'm not crazy sore and I'm sure it will workout after my run. It's just that nice sore that sometimes you get and it makes you know you've worked hard. I'm enjoying it. A lot.

My mood and outlook is high right now. Fingers crossed it continues as I go along.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Let me plod

I'm training for a 5K. Of course I'm starting months out. One because I'm in horrible shape. And two because I might need the extra weeks if I get off somehow. But I am committed. I am participating in the Race for the Cure in New Orleans on Sunday, October 25th. My plan is to run a 30 minute race. It is my goal.

I'm working with the Couch to 5K program. I've toyed with it before, but always chose a bad training time (it gets HOT here a LOT) and then didn't have access to a gym to run on a treadmill. This time I've got the treadmill access and that's where I'm starting. I plan on switching to road running in a couple of months or so once the heat index stops hitting 110. I have a date in mind, not just some illusive 5K and I have told EVERYONE! My boyfriend and I are already planning on getting a hotel room in New Orleans the night before.

So I feel like the cardio part of my living plan is covered. My strength training is still a struggle, but I'm hoping to get on that tonight.

Food is a challenge. I want to embrace Intuitive eating whole heartedly...but I'm scared. I am scared of gaining more weight. I am already at such a high weight for me. Within 15 pounds that sent me on my way to losing so much just three years ago. Nearly within 10 pounds. Three years later and I am almost right back where I started. That is SCARY! So I am at this moment desperate to not gain more. And I know that is hindering me.

I'm trying to eat when I'm hungry. To eat what I want and to stop when I'm full. But it's hard. I think it is especially hard when I am trying so desperately to not hit that 180 mark. Yes. I am within a few pounds of 180. I'm sure if I stepped on a scale during the day and not first thing in the morning I'd see that number. How did I get here again? That's what I really need to figure out. I need to think now, just as much, if not more than i need to eat.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Week 1 Done

I finished my first week and Better U and I think my grade would be...Needs Improvement.

Monday afternoon I had to rush the Kira Kat to the vet with an infection. She had to stay overnight, which freaked out the Nero Gatto and I decided to go home after work to be with him instead of working out. Then I got sick with a summer cold and it's very hard to workout when you are having trouble breathing.

Sunday night was I was laying in bed beating myself up for what a bad week I had had when I realized what I was doing. I tried being honest with myself. And the truth of the matter was that I was only upset about my lack of working out because I feel so fat. If I had gotten sick a year and half ago and had taken the week off, I wouldn't have thought a thing about it. I wouldn't have felt guilty about not working out or berated myself if I was at my ideal weight, or even a good bit closer to it.

So I've let go of last week. Yes I need improvement, but last week was not your normal run of the meal week for me.

Of course neither is this one. The last half of the week is going to be spent traveling for the 4th. Still I went to the gym last night. I'm heading that way in just a few minutes and I will go tomorrow night too. So I'll get in my three gym visits this week. And hopefully I can get some exercise this weekend as well.

Foodwise, I'm doing so-so. I trying to stop eating when full and not eat when I know I'm not hungry, but I'm just bored or wanting that TASTE. I'm hopeful that things will get better. I know I can do this.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Heart Healthy Me

I can't live if I don't have a healthy heart. I've decided to start Go Red For Women's BetterU.

While I've been whining about being too fat lately and how many of my clothes do not fit me anymore. (The later is at least true.) I have not been focusing enough on the fact that I am not in as good of shape as I was a year ago. I need to increase my heart health. And I think this is a great way to do it.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


I have the afternoon munchies. And it's very annoying.

I wanted some chocolate as soon as I put my lunch leftovers in the fridge. I was full. I didn't want the rest of my sandwich, but I wanted chocolate. So I let myself have kiss. I had a couple more throughout the next hour or so and then gave a presentation.

Shortly after the presentation I wanted more. And all I could think about was the damn vending machine and its alluring Snickers bars. So I had one. That should have quelled the munchies, but it didn't and I found myself staring back at my reflection in the vending machine once again.

Only this time I managed to say to my reflection "This is stupid. You have tasty carrots and hummus in the fridge. Don't they sound good? If they don't you probably aren't hungry." They did sound good and I grabbed them and ate them with delight. I was full, but ate the last three carrots and then suddenly - I found myself contemplating that vending machine again.

I only have an hour and 20 minutes left - surely I can stay away that long. Especially as I am. NOT. HUNGRY. And my cravings really should try and realize that. I'm chugging water like crazy just now.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The beginning

I've decided to start a food blog. *Gasp* Because obviously there aren't enough of them in the world. :)

Mostly, after three years of trying to lose weight by fighting food and my body, I'm going to try things a bit differently and I want it to be fun!

I want to think about what I put into my mouth. I want to eat it. I want to enjoy it. I want to live my life happy, healthy and wise. And oh yeah, thin.

I working with the book Intuitive Eating to guide me on this journey. More about me and what I want for and from this blog later. Right now, a messy house calls to me to clean it.