Think. Eat. Live...

A plan

2010-09-19T18:15:00.000-07:00

On October 25, 2009 I ran my first 5K. I had never even walked a 5K before, at least not as a race. I had hiked and walked well more than 3.1 miles many times in my life. But I had only ran that far once before, just days before in fact.

I had never been a runner. I had worked hard to get to that point, using the Couch to 5K program. And it worked. Of course I was SLOW! I finished in 44:37. So pretty much a 15 minute mile pace. SLOW. I was passed by power walkers.

I was so proud. I had gained back about thirty pounds by that point and it was a source of frustration for me, but I had worked hard and had done this thing. This thing that I hadn't even been able to do when I was at my healthiest a couple years earlier.

Then I made my big mistake. I didn't plan. I deserved to take a week off. I had trained so hard. And then it was NaNoWriMo time. I had to write 50,000 words. You cannot write while you run. And I didn't have another race scheduled and then it just seemed like I didn't have time for a race until after Christmas. And after Christmas I had gained more weight and it was depressing and it was hard and I would try to work through the program again at a faster pace and... I just couldn't.

At the end of May I realized that something other than my lifestyle was holding me back with my weight loss. (And causing me other health problems.) No more birth control for me and I think things are finally moving in the right direction again, though I have a long way to go. Still by that point it was hot. Too hot for a 200 pound woman to get her butt out in the Louisiana heat and run. Or that's what it seemed like every time I tried and then just came home and collapsed after work.

In July in one of the emails from the local Fleet Feet, there was a story about their 5K training program that was going to start in August. And I started to consider it. I decided that I had lost all self motivation. That I was at an all time low when it came to my weight, my health and my self/body image. I decided I needed yoga again and I needed something to motivate my cardio.

A new yoga studio is rescuing my soul and my self worth while running is helping to shape my body the way I want it. Inside and out. I new I would have to spend money and have incentives to get back into running. I wanted to be back there, but I just wasn't sure how to push out of my funk. The answer pay money. Have a goal and meetings that I could obsess about.

The training program has been different - focused more on distance than just the run/walk time method I used with C25K. And there has been some hard weeks. But there has also been weeks I'm where I've been super proud. I ran THREE times while on vacation over labor day. That's a first. I ran on HILLS in Atlanta. We don't really have those here in the bayou. Coming back to the heat after the pleasant temps in the ATL was hard and that was my roughest week yet, but Wednesday it seems I have turned a corner.

I have my pace. It's even slower than last year, though probably not surprising considering I'm carrying about 20 more pounds on my body than last year. But I have my pace. And if it takes me a friggin hour to run the 5K on Halloween then in takes me an hour.

But here's the real reason I'm writing this today. To lay out my plan. My running plan. I will not make the same mistake I made last year.

So my plan is as follows:

Run the Jackolantern Jog with the rest of my running group on Halloween.
The Reindeer Run 5K in December - Try to improve my time
The Mardi Gras Mambo 10K in February 2011 - My first 10K!
RocketChix Triathlon in April/May 2011 - My first Tri!
The Baton Rouge Beach Half Marathon in December 2011 - My first half marathon!

I think it's a reasonable training plan, or plans really. My training plan will be different for each race and it's likely I'm might add in a few other races as I go. Especially in that stretch from RocketChix to the Beach Marathon, but I have a plan! I will not stop running again for lack of a plan. I want to have lots more pictures like these. Where I'm nervous, excited (and freaking COLD) and then so, so happy - if hot, sweaty and exhausted.

Toe - MAH - toes!!

2010-08-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

So not long ago the fabulous Emily posted this recipe for Un-Fried Green tomatoes and I immediately wanted to make it. I've lived in the South pretty much my whole life and I don't believe that I've ever had a fried green tomato - but this just looked soooo good.

Problem - It's hard to buy green tomatoes, I don't have a garden, and my friends who did are dealing with this crazy heat that is killing many vegetables. Plus, the few times I find some - they turn red before I can get to them.

When a volunteer at the office brought me some from the farmer's market - actually going to the trouble to pick through different baskets, getting the green ones for me I knew that I had to use them. And of course when I was at Whole Foods today I found a couple of other green heirloom tomatoes. Shocking.

I followed Emily's recipe pretty much exactly, except that when I went to open our mushrooms - they were SLIMY! Gross. I'm not the biggest mushroom fan to begin with, mostly because of textural issues and when they get slimy - ain't gonna happen.

So I substituted the mushrooms for some sweet peppers from the farmer's market. I also had some extra green tomato that I threw in with the other tomatoes.

I had a bit of trouble with mine sticking, but I think perhaps I did not spray the pan evenly enough. Or possibly some of my slices were too thin, as the ones that were thicker slid off the pan easy-peasy.

It was SO GOOD!

The man was less fond, but he is less fond of tomatoes over all - and not so fond of the whole wheat flour I used also. He ended up using two as a sandwich bun for a veggie patty.

2010 - That's a nice round number

2010-01-07T15:56:00.000-08:00

Ah - Resolution TIME! I have discovered that now that I live in Louisiana the biggest problem I have with starting a health regiment after new year's even can be summed up in two words: King Cake. Every where else in the country you have break from special treats as of January 1st. Most people can keep things going smoothly until at least Valentine's Day. And even that day doesn't have to provide that big of a bump. Valentine's candy is just regular candy in red and pink foil - it doesn't have to have special appeal. And anyone can shake off a fancy dinner out and a bit of extra candy that's probably only a temptation around the house and office for about a week or so.

But here, HERE - we have Mardi Gras and I know the rest of the country think that this is only a day in February or March, but my dears, no. Mardi Gras is a friggin season. And the King Cakes, those luscious rings of flaky cinnamon, creamy filling, and tasty frosting are out in full force the first week of January. They are just a precursor of all the parties and parades that will take place over the next month and a half. It is just evil! We've already had two King cakes at my office and Mardi Gras day is not until Feb. 16th. GrrrArg!

So try and bare with me as I try and get back to a healthy lifestyle in the midst of King Cake Caverns. What? That isn't a place in candy land?

My resolutions for the year.

Get my healthy lifestyle habits back.
Use this blog more.
Make laziness an artform, not a lifestyle.

The first should be pretty obvious and straightforward.

The second - well I'd like to update at at least once a week and I'd like to talk about both my struggles and triumphs with eating well and BOOKS! I want to THINK again. So I'd like to try and do some book reviews here once a month or once every couple of months. I'm planning to start with Intuitively Eating. I want to re-read it and try and embrace it even more.

The third - I'm a lazy person. I know it. But I'd like to be less lazy. I'd like to pick my times to be lazy. Like New Year's day when I have nothing pressing to do, and have been traveling for weeks it is completely appropriate to break out the ultimate of lazy days, not even getting dressed or going anywhere and just reading all day. It is not okay to come home from work and not do anything, it is not okay to be lazy all the time every day. So I'm going to work on it.

Not really plodding

2009-09-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

Definitely moving faster than plodding this days. I'm running. Yes, yes you read that right. RUNNING! Now I'm still not running very fast, but I'm running.

I went to D*C in Atlanta over Labor Day weekend and acutally got up and went down to the gym and ran for 20 minutes. My first 20 minute run. I was really proud of myself. The end of my vacation and vacation recovery threw me off my stride a bit and I only fit in one run last week, but things are back to normal again. I even went for a run tonight after coming home and collapsing on the couch. I left my boyfriend, kitties and air conditioning to go and run. Not bad.

I've flunked out of Better U - or I've left it for a less structured curriculium. I'm back on SparkPeople and doing well there. And of course it will only be a few more weeks before I graduate from Couch to 5K - and run my first 5K!!

Eating is still where I'm struggling the most. But still, it could be worse. It has been worse. But I've managed not to splurge too much these days, or at least as much as I have in the past. Thank heavens.

I've discovered that the biggest, absolutely BIGGEST impediment to being healthy is that I'm lazy. I don't want to work out. I don't want to cook a healthy dinner. I want to lay around and read and eat pizza and chocolate. I just don't want to put in the effort. And the problem is that EFFORT is the number one ingredient to losing weight and getting healthy.

So in an effort to make more of an effort, I'm stating that I will post here three times a week for the next two weeks. We'll see how that goes.

Three Years

2009-07-21T18:57:00.000-07:00

It was three years ago that I began losing weight. I stepped on the scale for the first time since I was hospitalized and found out that I had gained about 15 pounds in just a couple months since the blood clot of doom.

It was time to get in gear - and I did. Over the next ten months I lost nearly 40 pounds. And I kept it off for awhile. Then I gained a few more back, but still I was okay, until last August. I really, really started to gain.

This year I've been trying to work on it again, but it is even harder this time. And it's hard to realize that instead of being less than I was this time last year, I am more. A good bit more.

But today I ran. I did push-ups and strength training.

I don't know how much I way because I haven't stepped on my scale since the beginning of the month. I feel better about what I'm doing even if I don't feel better about my body just now.

I hurt...It is SO awesome!

2009-07-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

I have not really been sore from a workout in I can't remember when. My legs are certainly feeling it now though. Whether from my run on Tuesday or the strength training last night, I don't know, but I'm happy.

I'm not crazy sore and I'm sure it will workout after my run. It's just that nice sore that sometimes you get and it makes you know you've worked hard. I'm enjoying it. A lot.

My mood and outlook is high right now. Fingers crossed it continues as I go along.

Let me plod

2009-07-08T13:29:00.000-07:00

I'm training for a 5K. Of course I'm starting months out. One because I'm in horrible shape. And two because I might need the extra weeks if I get off somehow. But I am committed. I am participating in the Race for the Cure in New Orleans on Sunday, October 25th. My plan is to run a 30 minute race. It is my goal.

I'm working with the Couch to 5K program. I've toyed with it before, but always chose a bad training time (it gets HOT here a LOT) and then didn't have access to a gym to run on a treadmill. This time I've got the treadmill access and that's where I'm starting. I plan on switching to road running in a couple of months or so once the heat index stops hitting 110. I have a date in mind, not just some illusive 5K and I have told EVERYONE! My boyfriend and I are already planning on getting a hotel room in New Orleans the night before.

So I feel like the cardio part of my living plan is covered. My strength training is still a struggle, but I'm hoping to get on that tonight.

Food though...food is a challenge. I want to embrace Intuitive eating whole heartedly...but I'm scared. I am scared of gaining more weight. I am already at such a high weight for me. Within 15 pounds that sent me on my way to losing so much just three years ago. Nearly within 10 pounds. Three years later and I am almost right back where I started. That is SCARY! So I am at this moment desperate to not gain more. And I know that is hindering me.

I'm trying to eat when I'm hungry. To eat what I want and to stop when I'm full. But it's hard. I think it is especially hard when I am trying so desperately to not hit that 180 mark. Yes. I am within a few pounds of 180. I'm sure if I stepped on a scale during the day and not first thing in the morning I'd see that number. How did I get here again? That's what I really need to figure out. I need to think now, just as much, if not more than i need to eat.

Week 1 Done

2009-06-30T14:42:00.000-07:00

I finished my first week and Better U and I think my grade would be...Needs Improvement.

Monday afternoon I had to rush the Kira Kat to the vet with an infection. She had to stay overnight, which freaked out the Nero Gatto and I decided to go home after work to be with him instead of working out. Then I got sick with a summer cold and it's very hard to workout when you are having trouble breathing.

Sunday night was I was laying in bed beating myself up for what a bad week I had had when I realized what I was doing. I tried being honest with myself. And the truth of the matter was that I was only upset about my lack of working out because I feel so fat. If I had gotten sick a year and half ago and had taken the week off, I wouldn't have thought a thing about it. I wouldn't have felt guilty about not working out or berated myself if I was at my ideal weight, or even a good bit closer to it.

So I've let go of last week. Yes I need improvement, but last week was not your normal run of the meal week for me.

Of course neither is this one. The last half of the week is going to be spent traveling for the 4th. Still I went to the gym last night. I'm heading that way in just a few minutes and I will go tomorrow night too. So I'll get in my three gym visits this week. And hopefully I can get some exercise this weekend as well.

Foodwise, I'm doing so-so. I trying to stop eating when full and not eat when I know I'm not hungry, but I'm just bored or wanting that TASTE. I'm hopeful that things will get better. I know I can do this.

Heart Healthy Me

2009-06-22T09:32:00.001-07:00

I can't live if I don't have a healthy heart. I've decided to start Go Red For Women's BetterU.

While I've been whining about being too fat lately and how many of my clothes do not fit me anymore. (The later is at least true.) I have not been focusing enough on the fact that I am not in as good of shape as I was a year ago. I need to increase my heart health. And I think this is a great way to do it.

Munchies

2009-06-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

I have the afternoon munchies. And it's very annoying.

I wanted some chocolate as soon as I put my lunch leftovers in the fridge. I was full. I didn't want the rest of my sandwich, but I wanted chocolate. So I let myself have kiss. I had a couple more throughout the next hour or so and then gave a presentation.

Shortly after the presentation I wanted more. And all I could think about was the damn vending machine and its alluring Snickers bars. So I had one. That should have quelled the munchies, but it didn't and I found myself staring back at my reflection in the vending machine once again.

Only this time I managed to say to my reflection "This is stupid. You have tasty carrots and hummus in the fridge. Don't they sound good? If they don't you probably aren't hungry." They did sound good and I grabbed them and ate them with delight. I was full, but ate the last three carrots and then suddenly - I found myself contemplating that vending machine again.

I only have an hour and 20 minutes left - surely I can stay away that long. Especially as I am. NOT. HUNGRY. And my cravings really should try and realize that. I'm chugging water like crazy just now.

The beginning

2009-06-16T08:53:00.001-07:00

I've decided to start a food blog. *Gasp* Because obviously there aren't enough of them in the world. :)

Mostly, after three years of trying to lose weight by fighting food and my body, I'm going to try things a bit differently and I want it to be fun!

I want to think about what I put into my mouth. I want to eat it. I want to enjoy it. I want to live my life happy, healthy and wise. And oh yeah, thin.

I working with the book Intuitive Eating to guide me on this journey. More about me and what I want for and from this blog later. Right now, a messy house calls to me to clean it.